There’s nothing like a juicy conspiracy theory to get people riled up. Some are outlandish, like the one that the federal government orchestrated the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, or that the moon landings didn’t really happen.
Former President Barack Obama was the butt of several such theories, including debunked claims that he was not born in this country. President Donald Trump gained political prominence when he questioned Obama’s citizenship, without evidence.
Since then, Trump has told some doozies, like “millions” of people voted illegally (for Hillary Clinton) in the 2016 presidential election, and that Obama ordered Trump Tower wiretapped. Again, no evidence.
But recent events show that some conspiracies are worth considering. Take, for example, last week’s confirmation that the FBI is investigating the Russian government’s interference in the presidential election to help Trump, as well as any links between the Russians and the Trump campaign.
Also, I am investigating a new conspiracy theory after being contacted by an unnamed source. I’m not sure if the source was reliable, but he did take his medications regularly. He said he was in a kitchen at Trump Tower last summer when his cell phone intercepted a phone conversation. He didn’t know how that happened, but he was operating a microwave oven at the time. Here’s the conversation as he recalled it:
“Hello, Mr. Putin It’s good to hear from you again.”
“Call me Vlad or by my Russian code name, Gorilla.”
“Call me Donald. Do I have a Russian code name?”
“I understand you want to do a deal, Vlad. I am great at deals. I wrote the book on them.”
“Would you like to be even richer, Donald? Do you want to be U.S. president?”
“Yes. I owe people money.”
“You will get percentage of Russian oil company sale, $28 billion rubles value.”
“Big number. Very big. Will I have to pay taxes?”
“No taxes. Just pay attention. This is very secret. We have the best people with computers. They are hacking computers of American Democrats and finding bad information for Hillary Clinton. She is mean to Russia.”
“Anything about Bill Clinton with women? Or Hillary with women?”
“Nothing about women. Pervert. We have people to put information on the internet. Media will be in frenzy and quit attacking you.”
“Great. What do you want in return, Vlad?”
“First, make sure Republican Party platform does not recommend weapons for our enemy Ukraine. Next, in speeches you must criticize our enemy NATO. NATO is mean to Russia.”
“It’s a deal. What’s NATO?”
“When you become president, you will remove sanctions that evil Obama imposed on Russia. And you will damage your State Department. It is mean to Russia. You will cut budget and fire many people. Appoint secretary who likes Russia. Maybe CEO of ExxonMobil. They have drilling deal with us. I gave him a medal.”
“I want a medal.”
“One more thing. When you visited Russia for business, do you remember parties?”
“Yes, very wild parties. Big wild parties.”
“We have the parties on video.”
“Me at the parties on video? That’s blackmail. Very bad, Vlad.”
“Not blackmail. Russian insurance.”
Now you know as much as I do about this conspiracy story. It’s everything my source related just days before he died tragically after falling 10 stories from his apartment.
Believe it or don’t. But it’s as reasonable as any conspiracy yarn that Donald Trump has spun. Maybe you have a conspiracy theory to share. You could post it on Facebook like the Russians reportedly have done. Or you could Tweet it, like Trump does.